Happy 2 weeks Theo!

Can't believe how quick it has gone and by rights, Theo should only be 2 days old today :)

He is fully legitimate now with birth certificate lol. I'm totally on top of all the paperwork for child benefit and tax credits and things, I'm tidying my house a bit (I can't really hoover, iron, or stand for long periods yet), I'm off to breast feeding support today to meet other mums, I've expressed 120 ml this morning for tonight (I'm a milk machine, let it be known) and I've been granted £1390 for my tuition this year, meaning I have to pay a whole £10! Of course, those 90 credits in February are going to be hardcore but since Theo will be 6 months and weaning and things, it should be OK with Lee and our parents around and my siblings too, to help.

The only real adjustment with being a parent is we probably aren't used to being so selfless all the time, but nobody would be. For example, I read when Theo wants cuddled or is feeding etc but it's the act of if he is in bed crying, immediately giving up what you are doing to go to him. Neither of us resent it a tiny bit, it's just getting used to it because we've never done it before. Also, we are used to having each other to ourselves all the time and now we get a few quick cuddles here and there but that's OK because we are making the effort with each other and that will settle down soon enough. I find it a bit harder but only because I am hormonal and will be for potentially up to a year. Pregnancy really does take it's toll.

Theo was 6 lb 6 oz the other day so he hasn't lost too much birth weight and my weight is flying off. I have had minor anxiety going on, especially for Theo but since he is alert, feeding well, a good colour and having loads of wet nappies, it's easing up. I just wish with being breast fed, he would have more dirty nappies as they are supposed to be 2-5 times a day and he is going 1-2 times every other day. I'll give it a few days and check in with the health visitor at next weeks clinic. I may mention it at breast feeding group today. It's probably nothing more than he is taking in all the nutrition with being little as my milk is the best but I always like to check.

I fully appreciate Lee and I are lucky at how easy Theo is being. Some nights, when he is gassy, he can be bad but even  then, not horrendous like some babies, especially breast-fed. I can't help feeling Ellie is helping us a lot. I really miss her now more than ever because she should be fawning over her baby brother but I think she snuggles in his moses basket with him most nights, except when she goes to play on the park. I love that he looks like her and I thank her all the time for sending him.

Love you Ellie, always. You'll always be mummy's first baby who gave my belly a smile :)

Be careful what you wish for

Unless it's the safe and early arrival of a little gruffalo :D

Theo came into the world on September 13th at 1.53pm and it was all a bit of a shock! As it pans out, my waters had broken before I realised so the risk of infection was high. My c-section was done that day, and for all the shock, it was very calm and collected. I needed a steroid shot just in case Theo's lungs weren't ready but when he came out, he squawked non-stop! He had to be monitored for 48 hours in case of infection and he is a bit jaundiced. The hospital was great but being in 3.5 days was too much. I was stir crazy, just wanted to be able to look after Theo without being told when to pick him up and be comfortable. I'm recovering well but having lots of dizzy spells as I am slightly dehydrated, borderline anaemic and wouldn't eat hospital food. I also got a bit of a bad belly in hospital which didn't help the dehydration and breastfeeding takes it out of you.

Everyone is besotted, most of all Lee and I. There  just aren't words. There is nothing I wouldn't have done for my Ellie-belly but it's so different and she has sent him looking like her, which we love. It's been hard missing her and loving him so much, I've felt guilty but she is always my first baby and I can't wait to tell Theo all about her.

Theo is feeding so well, the midwife thinks we are naturals together :) He is such an easy going baby. Even at 6lb 8oz, he is tiny, premature size but I love that. He isn't too small but he is just so petite and cute, none of us ever want to put him down. My family and friends have been phenomenal, doing my housework, cooking, etc and Lee is great too. Since having Theo, Lee is the worrier believe it or not but he's more settled today.

We are so happy we could die!

Squatter's rights

I have asked time and time again but this little boy is not coming out unassisted I don't think.  I walked miles round Beamish on Sunday and to be fair, I think he has dropped a bit. Where my scar sits was dipped and is now starting to round out where his little fat head must be lol. I bounce a lot too on the ball but despite lots of period and back pains, they disappear overnight.

Today I am really retchy and though I haven't been sick, I just feel off and not totally right. I can only lie on my left side at night as I get dizzy with blood vessel compression on right side (some of this may be anxiety that I'm going to get it but it makes me feel horrible anyway) which then kills my hip, I'm exhausted and just generally feel crap. I don't even really want to see people except Lee. 14 days is nothing, I know but it feels forever and it is really dragging. I don't begrudge my son being in there at all but we've waited so long to meet him and I feel like we are waiting for our new life to begin, stuck in limbo again. I'm so sick I've even stopped worrying about the pain to be honest and other things that make me worry.  The funny thing is, I'm going to miss my bump with his little naughty spells loads but losing a bump is nothing compared to what you get in return.

I'm supposed to be having a sweep Thursday, which I must admit, makes me nervous in case it hurts (despite labour being a million times worse!). I guess I'm thinking at least with labour I can epidural up if needed. More importantly, I hope my cervix is favourable for it and that it actually works!

Come on Ellie, kick your brother out lol

The other side of the world to me

ARGH, Theo is so close and yet still so far away! 20 days 'til my scheduled Section and I truly don't believe he is going to try and come before. I have been hopeful but he seems extra snug as a bug bless him! He was sleepy this morning, though I knew he was fine, and his Daddy made him wake up by poking and prodding lol so now he is going mental. We went to the hospital yesterday for my reassurance CTG (have been managing with once a week, go me) and he was playing happily. Then, some student doctors came to take a medical history and check my fundal height, etc and he was going crazy. I think he may have been flirting haha.

Lee started a new job at Beamish this week and it seems to be really good. He looks funny as anything in his costume but he likes it so far. I hope today is as exciting for him and tomorrow, I get my new piano! WOOHOO! I'm due one, it's been about 7-8 years (digital ones age faster than upright obviously) and I have picked a bells and whistles while remaining fairly basic one. I was shown a really cool gadgety on in the same make but I don't think I will use it all.

Hurry up Theo!