Saturday 10 August 2013

On the up

Life seems to be going well! Yay!

The biggest thing is our mortgage is sorted and we now live in our new house. We are still unpacking and sorting but it's looking great and is bigger for us. The garden is small but good for what we need. It's a lovely fresh start and stability for Theo bear. It's actually my dad and step-mum's old house and before that, I grew up in it. I thought it would be strange coming back and it is sort of but actually, I'm really comfortable and my parents are happy over in Spain so all is well that way.

Theo's christening went really well. Everybody said how much they enjoyed themselves. I actually slept from 4pm, the joy of too much vodka but I had a grand old day haha as did everyone and our son was a little stud muffin and a little superstar at the church.

My first CBT counselling appointment is this coming Tuesday. For now I am on anti-anxiety medication but hoping to come off in a few months. I am now working full time which really helps too and it's a job I love in a music shop, selling pianos and musical instruments. I've even taken up the cello! The hardest bit is not being with Theo all the time but we can give him so much with the extra money which is great. Supporting my son and future child is really important to us both.

It nearly Theo's 11 month milestone and 1st birthday :D :(. Mixed feelings. He now imitates things such as 'haha' or waving. He crawl-chases you round the house if you run away from him, he still lies with his mouth open for millions of kisses. He can demolish a biscuit in a minute or two, he can click his tongue (like clip clopping sounds) and he is just a ray of sunshine. He is super happy and I fall more in love every day. He is having a pirate bedroom like a big boy!

Now, having our own house and garden means I can actually make a memorial garden for my little bambi. I want it to be a happy, pretty garden though and hopefully, Theo will help me.

So all in all, things are going well right now. I opened Ellie's box the other day but I was tired and didn't want to get upset. I will probably dig around it on a day off. I really miss her but Theo is like balm for the wound.

Yay, positivity!