OMG! Cannot believe in 5 days I will be mrs Forrest. Bit scary to say the least!
I think nearly everything is sorted, although we still haven't had a phone call from argos about our wedding rings yet but I will be onto that by Tuesday. Need to buy some makeup and things as well plus earrings but all the big things are sorted.
On the flip side, our friend has let us down with our place to live apparently. Awesome. We spent our deposit for the other place on wedding things thinking we were alright but now it means we can't go on our honeymoon. I wasn't expecting to in the first place but after that I got my hopes up and now I am really disappointed. I know we can wait til later but I was thinking I was going on holiday in 4 weeks.
Hen night tonight. Probably just gonna stay in cambois but will be a laugh no doubt.
Sunday 28 August 2011
Tuesday 16 August 2011
Pain
I am so not well! First came the UTI which the anti-biotics has nearly cleared but I had to get more so I got rid of the back pain until today when my late monthly friend showed up so I could hardly walk. Spent most the day with a hot water bottle strapped to me. Now I have painful guts, probably from the anti biotics. However, this is minimal compared to PKD patients so I shouldn't complain.
16 days! We picked out our wedding music today. I'm really happy with it as it isn't 'overdone'. There is no Bryan Adams, savage garden, westlife, ronan keating, etc! Our guests will come in to 'Always a woman to me' by Billy Joel. My bridesmaids and I enter to Peter Gabriel 'The Book of Love', the middle bit where we sign the register is Bruno mars 'count on me', rascal flatts 'My wish' then Bruno mars 'marry you ' and we leave to 'love story' by Taylor Swift. Definitely a mixed bag!
Feeling less anxious tonight. Maybe the run up to my hormonal time plus UTI made me worse. I need to have a think about when to come off the citalopram and also discuss with doctors however horrible it seems, how an abortion would be managed should our next baby be affected.
I had my Ann summers area meeting last night and won every prize going! I did really well in July. Not so well this month but I have a few parties coming up so we'll see. Ooh and it's zumba tomorrow!
16 days! We picked out our wedding music today. I'm really happy with it as it isn't 'overdone'. There is no Bryan Adams, savage garden, westlife, ronan keating, etc! Our guests will come in to 'Always a woman to me' by Billy Joel. My bridesmaids and I enter to Peter Gabriel 'The Book of Love', the middle bit where we sign the register is Bruno mars 'count on me', rascal flatts 'My wish' then Bruno mars 'marry you ' and we leave to 'love story' by Taylor Swift. Definitely a mixed bag!
Feeling less anxious tonight. Maybe the run up to my hormonal time plus UTI made me worse. I need to have a think about when to come off the citalopram and also discuss with doctors however horrible it seems, how an abortion would be managed should our next baby be affected.
I had my Ann summers area meeting last night and won every prize going! I did really well in July. Not so well this month but I have a few parties coming up so we'll see. Ooh and it's zumba tomorrow!
Sunday 14 August 2011
Mixed bag
Everything is uppy-downy at the minute.
We were giving up our honeymoon to get a new snuggle house sorted. However, today, a fantastic new deal has come into play. The chance of a place for £400 a month Inc gas, elec and council tax! So we have said yes, more info in a couple of days but this means we can go on honeymoon again. Was hoping for sept but the prices are a bit higher so we have to go second week of oct probably. It's still hot in turkey then, hotter than when we went in April which was lush so that's good news.
We picked our wedding rings today as well, and are nearly sorted with the wedding I think. On the downside, all the stress and a really bad water infection caused my anxiety to flare up really badly. I know Ellie is bringing some luck our way though.
Love you bumpzilla bambi x
We were giving up our honeymoon to get a new snuggle house sorted. However, today, a fantastic new deal has come into play. The chance of a place for £400 a month Inc gas, elec and council tax! So we have said yes, more info in a couple of days but this means we can go on honeymoon again. Was hoping for sept but the prices are a bit higher so we have to go second week of oct probably. It's still hot in turkey then, hotter than when we went in April which was lush so that's good news.
We picked our wedding rings today as well, and are nearly sorted with the wedding I think. On the downside, all the stress and a really bad water infection caused my anxiety to flare up really badly. I know Ellie is bringing some luck our way though.
Love you bumpzilla bambi x
Saturday 13 August 2011
Bladdered
Thought I was getting a kidney infection. Actually, after leaving my UTI for two weeks, I probably was but I went to the Northern Doctors today at the Wansbeck and got some anti-biotics. The only problem I'm at a party tonight and can't drink but that's not so bad, I could probably do without it anyway and it will still be a good night.
Been hanging with an old friend lately. It's good to have her back on the scene but the act she has kidney failure is awful. I'm so sick of kidneys. Kidney disease robbed my little girl of a life. Not to mention, everybody is pregnant or has just had babies and I feel like I'm expected to let them ram it down my throat, be happy for them and feel like shit. Of course, I want to come off my citalopram and conceive again but I'm scared to take a life if it comes to it. I don't know if I can take anymore heartbreak this year.
My wedding is less than 3 weeks away now. It seems like two minutes since it was 14 months no it is 20 days, which is some scary shit but it's Lee and for me it's always been Lee since I met him. I knew he would be the one I would marry eventually. Last night when I was fidgeting in pain, all he did was snuggle me all night. He's my big teddy bear! And he gave me my star.
Speaking of stars, was having a bad night the other night when it was 6 months since her birth and looked out the window. There was one star in the sky staring straight at me through the window. She was obviously coming to see me and eventually when I was tired enough to sleep, I closed my eyes, opened them a minute later and the star was gone! Think Ellie-bopper was sitting with me til I could sleep bless her.
Been hanging with an old friend lately. It's good to have her back on the scene but the act she has kidney failure is awful. I'm so sick of kidneys. Kidney disease robbed my little girl of a life. Not to mention, everybody is pregnant or has just had babies and I feel like I'm expected to let them ram it down my throat, be happy for them and feel like shit. Of course, I want to come off my citalopram and conceive again but I'm scared to take a life if it comes to it. I don't know if I can take anymore heartbreak this year.
My wedding is less than 3 weeks away now. It seems like two minutes since it was 14 months no it is 20 days, which is some scary shit but it's Lee and for me it's always been Lee since I met him. I knew he would be the one I would marry eventually. Last night when I was fidgeting in pain, all he did was snuggle me all night. He's my big teddy bear! And he gave me my star.
Speaking of stars, was having a bad night the other night when it was 6 months since her birth and looked out the window. There was one star in the sky staring straight at me through the window. She was obviously coming to see me and eventually when I was tired enough to sleep, I closed my eyes, opened them a minute later and the star was gone! Think Ellie-bopper was sitting with me til I could sleep bless her.
Monday 8 August 2011
Not wasting my time
For weeks I have been defending lee, to people in my family and other people too, who decide to drag everyone into their arguments. Defending the man I love means I am 'me me me'. Because Lee and I wont enter into petty relationship arguments of 3 other people, he gets called for this and that and I defend him and those people are dreading coming to our wedding. Obviously that is me being me me me again.
I love Lee with all my heart, I would die for him. But you know what? It is really not worth it. I don't give a shot about any of it anymore. I should be the most excited girl around for my wedding but they ruin it every time. I've got no fight for defending Lee or myself anymore.
Maybe some people aren't supposed to be happy
I love Lee with all my heart, I would die for him. But you know what? It is really not worth it. I don't give a shot about any of it anymore. I should be the most excited girl around for my wedding but they ruin it every time. I've got no fight for defending Lee or myself anymore.
Maybe some people aren't supposed to be happy
Friday 5 August 2011
6 months
Dear Ellie,
Today you would be 6 months old and it seems like it has taken forever but also 2 seconds to get here. Never a day goes by when we don't think of you and wonder where you are.
I often wonder what you would look like now, what your personality would be like, all of the normal stuff mothers take for granted every day. I already know you would have been defiant and dome things your way, and that you would have had good taste in music! I also know you were brave, like your dad. I wish I was. Everyday I live in fear of every available illness on the planet. I wish I could be more like you.
Last night I spoke to you then opened my eyes and all of a sudden there was one bright star shining through the window. I know you stayed for a while and then disappeared when you eventually knew I was tired enough to fall asleep. Thank you for looking after us. You've brought a lot of new friends into our lives and helped us do a lot of good for other families too. I am ashamed it took you to make us do it but we will do all we can.
I think you are happy where you are. I know you play on the park and eat lots of sweets and are well looked after. I also know you are more comfortable and healthy there than you ever could have been here. You breathe freely, your heart isn't working to hard and your kidneys are little again. I am glad when you look at your piglet toy and Minnie mouse clothes you think of us. Daddy is trying to win me one of those Winnie the pooh toys now!
We love you so much bambi, and we miss you like crazy but it's only for a while. Be good and keep crocodile rockin'!
Love
Mummy x
Today you would be 6 months old and it seems like it has taken forever but also 2 seconds to get here. Never a day goes by when we don't think of you and wonder where you are.
I often wonder what you would look like now, what your personality would be like, all of the normal stuff mothers take for granted every day. I already know you would have been defiant and dome things your way, and that you would have had good taste in music! I also know you were brave, like your dad. I wish I was. Everyday I live in fear of every available illness on the planet. I wish I could be more like you.
Last night I spoke to you then opened my eyes and all of a sudden there was one bright star shining through the window. I know you stayed for a while and then disappeared when you eventually knew I was tired enough to fall asleep. Thank you for looking after us. You've brought a lot of new friends into our lives and helped us do a lot of good for other families too. I am ashamed it took you to make us do it but we will do all we can.
I think you are happy where you are. I know you play on the park and eat lots of sweets and are well looked after. I also know you are more comfortable and healthy there than you ever could have been here. You breathe freely, your heart isn't working to hard and your kidneys are little again. I am glad when you look at your piglet toy and Minnie mouse clothes you think of us. Daddy is trying to win me one of those Winnie the pooh toys now!
We love you so much bambi, and we miss you like crazy but it's only for a while. Be good and keep crocodile rockin'!
Love
Mummy x
Tuesday 2 August 2011
Simple things
My birthday was quiet. It involved a massage, a meal and shopping til we dropped in the metro centre. I bought a few DVDs, book, stuff from lush products, a charm for my new chamilia bracelet (I have 3 already). I always feel guilty spending my birthday money but I love that my charm bracelet is something I can keep. Chamilia do the disney range, but although they don't do a bambicharm, someone else does so I will be getting one, for my bambi, and will probably get an elephant for her too. I was quite content with a quiet day and finished up at home with a lovely night with the hubby.
Argh, he soon will be my hubby! I really need to get domesticated for him! Still a fair it to do for the wedding but it will get there. It's a month today. We've also found a lovely flat to move too so will look forward to that.
Just need to start planning the Ellie-phant group's next event!
Argh, he soon will be my hubby! I really need to get domesticated for him! Still a fair it to do for the wedding but it will get there. It's a month today. We've also found a lovely flat to move too so will look forward to that.
Just need to start planning the Ellie-phant group's next event!
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