Who said time flies?!

I went for my CVS on Monday but it couldn't be done, the placenta was too thin. I have to return on Monday coming and the wait is becoming more and more suffocating.

I quite frankly do not know what I am more scared of. I know the CVS is going to be trans-abdominal now rather than cervical like last time so I have a giant f*** off needle going to go through my belly and uterus. That is pretty bad. Then I have to wait the 4 days to be told wether this child is going to live or die, depending on disease status. And if the worst happens? I have to pick how best to get this baby out and grieve and be expected to live my life as normal having lost 2 babies. And then potentially 3, or 4 or 5 depending on how the Russian Roulette falls.

Every day I get up and I do it for my son and the 75% chance that this baby is ok. Anyone reading this is like 75%? That's loads. It seems that way until you have been in the 25% let me tell you and in my networks, when people have had 3 in a row with ARPKD, it suddenly doesn't seem as great a chance. It just seems like shit genetics from our side.

And so I wait, and pray the guardian angels are on my side