Been a bit worried by the level of bleeding today but hopefully it has settled down now. I'm getting wrong for having done too much so I might have to take things easy for a couple of days. It's really frustrating when I feel comfortable walking about and things, not to mention the not being able to drive scenario. Took the bus today and it is not post c-section friendly at all.
We are upto £1590 in donations, which is crazy! Not even two weeks yet since we started.I have to be so careful though because sometimes, Ellie doesn't seem real when I plough all my energy into charity stuff...I need to sit down and think about what actually happened to keep her real.
I feel a bit like now the funeral is over, people just want to forget her and move on. I know swe have to live life and I'm just paranoid but I never want to forget. I'm scared people will.
As for my p.s. I love you project, I have set my goals for the year, our 1st year without Ellie. I have to turn the worst year ever into the best year ever for her. So here goes:
March: get contact lenses, lose 5 lbs (current weight is 11st 9lb)
April: Go on holiday, help 'a night for Ellie' be a big night and enjoy it
May: learn to swim 50 metres, decorate our bedroom
June: get a tattoo, submit two TMAs and get over 80%
July: hit the £3000 target for Tiny lives, do grade 6 piano
August: find a job, hit the 10st mark
September: have an amazing wedding
October: complete first degree module with a first, start two new modules
November: write something (Lee and ray are determined I should be a writer), be able to swim 100 metres
December: take Lee on a late honeymoon
January: be underway for grade 7 piano, have hit the £5000 mark for charity
February: do something big to commemorate Ellie's month, and even possibly discuss a sibling.
So, let's see how I do!!
I miss you Ellie, I'm glad you are home, I just wish you were physically here. Love you millions x
Naomi, i think what your doing for ellie is amazing, the P.s i love you project is such a great thing to do, and i'll be supporting you all the way, if you ever need help with anything or need me to be there, you know where i am. And Naomi, no one is ever going to Forget Ellie, i can guarantee you that, We all adore Bambi, and will forever, we all miss her loads and she's never going to be forgotten about, she'll be with us forever and EVER. In our hearts and memories, she's never gonna leave, so Please don't worry yourself :) Anyway if you ever need me Nighthawk you know where i am, love DRAGON x
ReplyDeleteThis is a great idea! I'm really proud of you for thinking ahead.
ReplyDeleteMy cousing died at 3 weeks old before I was born and people in my family still refer to me as "the oldest surviving grandchild" 28 years later! I don't think people will forget Ellie. Even if they talk about her less, it doesn't mean they don't remember. And all the evnts and things are going to do so much to keep her memory alive. I know I won't gorget Ellie and I couldn't even make the funeral!