Bladdered

Thought I was getting a kidney infection. Actually, after leaving my UTI for two weeks, I probably was but I went to the Northern Doctors today at the Wansbeck and got some anti-biotics. The only problem I'm at a party tonight and can't drink but that's not so bad, I could probably do without it anyway and it will still be a good night.

Been hanging with an old friend lately. It's good to have her back on the scene but the act she has kidney failure is awful. I'm so sick of kidneys. Kidney disease robbed my little girl of a life. Not to mention, everybody is pregnant or has just had babies and I feel like I'm expected to let them ram it down my throat, be happy for them and feel like shit. Of course, I want to come off my citalopram and conceive again but I'm scared to take a life if it comes to it. I don't know if I can take anymore heartbreak this year.

My wedding is less than 3 weeks away now. It seems like two minutes since it was 14 months no it is 20 days, which is some scary shit but it's Lee and for me it's always been Lee since I met him. I knew he would be the one I would marry eventually. Last night when I was fidgeting in pain, all he did was snuggle me all night. He's my big teddy bear! And he gave me my star.

Speaking of stars, was having a bad night the other night when it was 6 months since her birth and looked out the window. There was one star in the sky staring straight at me through the window. She was obviously coming to see me and eventually when I was tired enough to sleep, I closed my eyes, opened them a minute later and the star was gone! Think Ellie-bopper was sitting with me til I could sleep bless her.