6 months

Dear Ellie,

Today you would be 6 months old and it seems like it has taken forever but also 2 seconds to get here. Never a day goes by when we don't think of you and wonder where you are.

I often wonder what you would look like now, what your personality would be like, all of the normal stuff mothers take for granted every day. I already know you would have been defiant and dome things your way, and that you would have had good taste in music! I also know you were brave, like your dad. I wish I was. Everyday I live in fear of every available illness on the planet. I wish I could be more like you.

Last night I spoke to you then opened my eyes and all of a sudden there was one bright star shining through the window. I know you stayed for a while and then disappeared when you eventually knew I was tired enough to fall asleep. Thank you for looking after us. You've brought a lot of new friends into our lives and helped us do a lot of good for other families too. I am ashamed it took you to make us do it but we will do all we can.

I think you are happy where you are. I know you play on the park and eat lots of sweets and are well looked after. I also know you are more comfortable and healthy there than you ever could have been here. You breathe freely, your heart isn't working to hard and your kidneys are little again. I am glad when you look at your piglet toy and Minnie mouse clothes you think of us. Daddy is trying to win me one of those Winnie the pooh toys now!

We love you so much bambi, and we miss you like crazy but it's only for a while. Be good and keep crocodile rockin'!

Love
Mummy x