The grass isn't always greener.

This past year, I have felt angry and bitter and wondered 'why me' more times than I can count and I never started to grieve properly til I got pregnant again. One thing that has always got me through though is thinking there are people who are worse off than me.

Everybody complains at times at various things. We all do it. It seems like some people though, it's all they do. And it's not just one person, it's a few. Sometimes you just want to shake them and say you have your health, you have a roof over your head, plenty of food, warmth and shelter and yet it's still not good enough?

One of my heroes is a 17 year old girl called Jodie. She has Ehlers Danlos syndrome and one of the most severe cases. Her digestive system doesn't work at all. She has no bowel. She can't eat. She is going to die. Jodie doesn't know if she'll see 25, 20 or even 18 and yet all she ever hopes is that she doesn't get an infection in her central line because it could be devastating. She never complains despite facing the scariest thing I know. Then there's all the PKD kids I know who deal with so much pain and illness and never know what's coming.

The fact of the matter is, I'm pissed Ellie isn't here but we have been given a second chance and I thank the universe every single night for how lucky I am, not only for him but for the roof over my head and the food I eat. We don't have much money right now but we pay our bills and get stuff for our son and that suits me fine. I also know, the kindest thing happened to Ellie. It doesn't ease the pain much but I know it's right.

The world isn't a bad place because you don't always get your way when you demand it. And most often they don't get their own way because they use people or talk to them like crap or live on cloud cuckoo and think things just fall from the sky.

If you have all the basic elements of life, food, warmth, shelter, health and love, then you are luckier than those being raped, murdered, starving and dying of Aids, suffering from cancer, being abused by their parents. But if the world is such a bad place, why don't you swap with one of them and I bet you'll know where the grass is greener.