I haven't abandoned ship!
Our holiday to Turkey was amazing. We spent days in the hot sun, swimming, sunbathing, drinking and eating. So nice to relax! I really caught the sun too though it is dying down a bit now. It was sad seeing people there with their toddlers but also, great to get away and we had a lot of fun with the animation team, and in the spa getting Turkish baths, massages, etc! Lee even sold his £10 watch (10 pound 10 years ago that is!) for 20 lira haha!!! The sound pf the praying pocking from the mosques was really beautiful and Marmaris was a really great place, especially as I have never fancied going to Turkey! I'll put some pics up here soon. We are going back for more at the end of September, for our honeymoon, though we aren't sure if we will be going back to Marmaris or to Bodrum this time.
My anxiety has been a pain in the neck since I came home though. Sometimes I'm ok, others not so much. And still grieving, all the time, consciously or not. It's so hard to think of what happened in the RVI but I have to because I have to think of Ellie, my gorgeous little fat bambi. It can still be a bit surreal sometimes..
I am hoping to host a murder mystery night for charity. Should be fun if enough people are interested! I am also taking the plunge tonight and going to Newcastle, without Lee. It's scary but i've enrolled to do a couple of classes at college that start in a couple of weeks so I need to get used to going out on my own.
Wednesday will be my last appointment with Henrietta, my psychologist, before she retires. I have managed to not think about it but as it grows closer, I am sad. It is like losing another person from Ellie's life. I've lost so many, loss after loss. However, I need to make a new life and carry Ellie with me all the time. She's helping us to get through, I know it.
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